just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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