My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Sext me about skeletons
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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