Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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