I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
