That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
