I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
