I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
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What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
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Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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