so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
