therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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