he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
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he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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