first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
