I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
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Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
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You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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