a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
