I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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