Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize