Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
