Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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