pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
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Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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