im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
