a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
