you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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