Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I intend to get homeless drunk
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
