She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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