My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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