the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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