Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
