yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
i've created a new STD.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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