remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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