I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
you would pick up someone in the library
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I forgot wine drunk hurts
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
