I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
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