I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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