You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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