Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
