you turned your livingroom into a bong?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
