He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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