**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
