Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
