i was rollin on her like bob the builder
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
