please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
