So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
