Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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