um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
