just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
