just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize