It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize