I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
