So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
