All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
