there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
