I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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