good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
