I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
