In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
