it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
