so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
