You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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