I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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